Posts Tagged ‘Medicine’

In Today’s Email ( Laughter)

June 14, 2009

Heard laughter is the best medicine,,, I received  this in today‚Äôs email..

Embarrassing  Medical Exams..

             1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife’s going to have
         her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out  lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off  her underwear.  Suddenly  noticed that there were several cabs —and I was in the wrong one.
                 Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

             2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
         elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.
         "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the  patient.
                  Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA

             3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife
         that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
         five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that
         he had died of a "massive internal fart."
                  Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

              4. During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his
         cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
         with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the
         Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m
running  out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what
         I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
         Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before
         applying a new one.
                  Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA

              5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,    asked,
             "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete
         confusion she answered.."Why, not for about twenty years – when my
         husband was alive."

                  Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-Corvallis, OR
           6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
         checking up on a woman I asked, "So how’s your breakfast
         this morning?"  "It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I
         can’t seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked
         to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
                  Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

             7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman
         with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
         tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
         determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
         scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the
         operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed
         green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the Grass."
         Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
         patient’s dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
                  Submitted by RN no name

                  AND FINALLY!!!…………….
              8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quit
         embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
         embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of
         whistling softly.The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this  ex
         suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up
         from my work and  sheepishly said, "I’m sorry.  Was I tickling you?"
           She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was,
         "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
                    Dr. wouldn’t submit his name